So, the other day on my Facebook newsfeed, I saw the following.
True, I could have just looked at it and moved on. It really isn’t a big deal and all in good fun. I get it.
What I want to know is- when did one life timeline become right for absolutely everyone?
Where I am from, the timeline I followed isn’t weird. It’s actually quite normal to get married at 23. But I’m not advocating that everyone do the exact same thing I did and I am absolutely not arguing that everyone should get married right out of college - I definitely don’t think that’s a good idea! My point is- just let everyone make their own decisions, follow their own timeline, create their own happiness, follow their own path..... and not pass judgment on them!
1. I would never tell someone they are too old NOT to be married. Why doesn’t this work in the reverse? I don’t believe there is a certain age when marriage is right for absolutely everyone. MARRIAGE isn’t right for absolutely everyone- so why would one age be? To think that just because something is right for you, it has to be right for everyone else, is completely illogical.
2. I don’t want to spend the whole of my 20s (or 30s or beyond) looking for someone like the person I found in college. When I was 20, I found the person who is right for me..... why would I let him go in order to try to find someone else like him later down the road? Isn’t that counter intuitive?
3. Not everyone wants/believes the same things. I HATE when I hear- “Don’t you have want to travel, have adventures, etc?” Yes. I definitely want to do those things. And guess what! I have an awesome partner to do them with.
4. Some people think “You don’t even know who you are yet, don't you want to find yourself?” – Well, I, for one, hope I am never done changing and growing. I cannot pinpoint one age when I will say “OK, I’m done and this is me. Better find someone now!” My view of marriage is that we will change and grow as individuals for the rest of our lives. The challenge, that I wholeheartedly accept, is to change and grow as a couple, too. I think you are fooling yourself if you believe that at 30, you are exactly the same person as you are at 40, 50, 60 and beyond.The sentiment I am trying to convey here can be applied to many life situations. PLEASE don’t pass judgment on “appropriate timelines” for: having babies, buying a house, finding a career, etc. Just do what is right for you, and don't care about what everyone else is doing.
In short- Live and Let Live! Love more and judge less.
That’s all I have for today…BUT I would love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Have you ever felt judged for or for not doing something on the 'right' timeline?